This weekend's X Factor might have been the best yet. As if a programme featuring a rubbish stage invasion and Olly Murs isn't awesome enough, Jamie Afro got kicked out! (Oh, spoiler alert by the way). Brilliant.
Jamie "tamed afro" Afro: I didn't think this performance was any worse than usual, so I was a bit surprised to see Jamie in the sing-off but THANK GOD. Hilariously, in his post-results Xtra Factor interview, he still looked like he thinks he's going to win. How does he do it?
Lloyd "help me!" Daniels: Every time Lloyd is in the bottom two and is saved from going home, God kills a puppy. This is the only possible explanation for poor little Lloyd's heartbreak, apart from the fact that he's totally convinced he doesn't deserve to be there. There should be a Save Lloyd campaign encouraging people not to vote for him. Poor chap - he's being kept there against his will. SAVE LLOYD.
Olly "the hand" Murs: Everyone is talking about Jedward being the entertainers and the rest of them being "proper singers", but Olly is hugely competent at both, and he has this mythical 'x factor' too, whatever that is, despite having a rubbish haircut. He wasn't as good as usual this week, but I think we can put that down to his mangled "Hell-hand", which Cowell referred to as "a bit of a poorly finger - get over it" before the performance, and "HE NEARLY BROKE HIS GODDAMN ARM, GIVE HIM A F**KING BREAK" afterwards. I'm paraphrasing a bit.
Joe "the tilt" McElderry: Aw, bless him. I am probably now Joe's second biggest fan in the world (after Sarah, whose obsession is verging towards inappropriate if you ask me. EDIT: I am wrong about this - it's actual love, which is never inappropriate when you think about it, it's just heartwarming. Even in the case of a 12-year age gap). He really can sing quite well, can't he? Note perfect.
Jedward: I hate to say it, but I think this week Jedward were back to their Britney best, if you can call it "best". (You can't). This is still no reason to vote for them. It's a shame Under Pressure wasn't given to one of the better artists (yes, I'm calling them artists now), but I will forgive that. Incidentally, John or Edward's comment that the hybrid with Ice Ice Baby "hasn't been done before" is pure factual wrongness.
Stacey Fromdagenham: From the second Stacey's version of Who Wants to Live Forever? started, I was really impressed and I continued being impressed throughout. I do love a good power ballad. I don't know why they're trying to turn her into Leona (we've already got one thanks), but nevertheless it was brilliant.
Danyl "I'm proper humble, me" Johnson: Right, now that Jamie's gone I can really concentrate on hating Danyl. I'm getting bored of the 'cocky / not cocky' storyline now: we all know that, if this man's self-confidence was shared out among the whole UK population, there would still be enough left over for Belgium. But what does that matter? If he wants to be a popstar, he needs to be cocky. It's his fake non-confidence that I hate the most. And his stupid big mouth.
And that's your lot for this week. I think Stacey and Joe were my favourites, but if I'd voted it would have been for Olly because I was a bit worried for his safety (in the competition, not in life). Only six contestants left now, but at least I don't have to look at that stupid clown hairdo ever again - life is good.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
11 comments:
There is NOTHING inappropriate about my Joe love.
Have I mentioned recently that I LOVE HIM?
If you actually love him then it's fine, and perfectly legal in the eyes of the law. Yes it is.
I do actually love him, and not even in a creepy way. Not creepy at all.
There is NOTHING creepy about a 30-year-old woman falling in love with an 18-year-old boy from inside the magic shiny box that talks to her.
I challenge anyone to find a single creepy thing about that.
I just want to make him a cup of tea and maybe fondle him lovingly a little bit. What could possibly be creepy about that?
You paint such a lovely picture of what police will later refer to as "the incident", it's brought a tear to my eye.
I took photos, if you'd like them? He said he didn't mind.
When someone is talking through a gag, sometimes it's hard to tell whether that person is giving their informed consent.
I'm just saying what his lawyer is already thinking.
That wasn't a gag, I was lovingly wiping away his drool.
That's very thoughtful of you. Some people are very untidy with their spittle when they're being tasered.
Oh my. Let's hope the poor Geordie lad doesn't actually read this!
Post a Comment