Afraid-y Gaga*

Oh my good heavens, have you heard 'Dance in the dark' by Lady Gaga? Well, have you? It's from the new album, The Fame Monster, and it's spectacular.

The verses sound a bit like 'I like it rough' (which is no bad thing), it's all electro-crazy and the chorus goes "Baby loves to dance in the dark, cos when he's looking she falls apart", which makes it the most emotional high-tempo slice of pop campness since 'Heartbreak make me a dancer' by Freemasons (featuring Sophie Ellis-Bextor).

So essentially, it's about a woman who's got herself into a relationship with someone who tells her she looks rubbish. Her self-confidence has been shot to bits, to the point where she's scared to even dance in front of him. But she still loves to dance, in the dark. I can't quite imagine this happening to Gaga herself, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. I can definitely imagine her being able to dance in the dark without falling over.

Is there any way this song could possibly be improved? Answers on a postcard, please, and I shall disagree with all of them. Here it is: CLICK HERE FOR AWESOMENESS.


* To make your own puns of this quality, all you need is a rhyming dictionary and a high shame threshold.