So, Miss Frank have become this year's X Factor sacrificial lambs. They might as well have made Dermot point straight down the camera lens and scream "You didn't vote, did you?! DID YOU?!?!! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU ABSOLUTE SET OF BASTARDS. I hope you're pleased with yourselves", and then flounce off as if he's never going to talk to us again.
Surprisingly, the part of last night's results show that's likely to give me the most nightmares over the coming weeks and months, and will appear in the crayon drawings I do for my therapist when I've finally managed to block it out of my conscious mind, was Rave Westlife.
Observe:
I can't decide whether it's a visual imagining of what an epileptic fit feels like, or Westlife's artistic interpretation of death. Either way, by the end of it I was wishing I had a glowstick and whistle to hand, if only to drown out the terrifying sights and sounds. No offence.
Next week is 'Rock Week' - how exciting! Any ideas what Jedward might do? I'm hoping for Creep by Radiohead. I can already picture the dance moves.
John: (Pointing to self, smiling) "Cos I'm a creep!"
Edward: (Pointing to self, smiling) "I'm a weirdo!"
John: (Doing massive comedy shrug, hands by ears) "What the hell am I doing here?"
Edward: (Shaking head) "I don't belong here!"
(They both do jazz hands while swapping over to other side of stage).
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6 comments:
So Piggers... "the day they stay in the competition at Olly's, Stacey's or Miss Frank's expense, I will hunt them down and shoot them in the face, but until that day comes they are more than welcome to stick around and entertain me."
Have you found them yet??
I thought someone might bring that up.
It was my fault really, for not voting. But then, if I'd voted I would have voted for Olly, so Miss Frank would still have been in the bottom two, and it would still have been my fault.
Never mind - they'll hopefully get a record contract out of this. And I couldn't bear to shoot Jedward in the face so close to 'rock week'... admit it, it's going to be hilarious.
If they do a Killers, Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon or Snow Patrol song I will kill them. With my bare hands.
And you know who else I'm gonna kill, this bitch: Evil ex-girlfriend!
Shouldn't you be more concerned about his evil current-girlfriend? You could definitely take both of them in a fight though.
What current girlfriend???!!!! Info please.
Oh no, what have I done?!
Um, isn't he going out with one of the girls that was in one of the girlbands that didn't get past the judges' houses stage? I mean, it's early days but I hear things are going well between them (this is what comes of watching the Xtra Factor).
Don't let this news upset you - look upon it as a challenge, not a setback.
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