The fourth series of Skins starts on E4 on January 28th, UK readers. This is very good news. What I'm saying is that you should basically clear your diaries for every Thursday night at 10pm from the end of this month to mid-March.
What's that you say? You have no idea why this is such incredibly exciting news? You've never seen Skins before and you're not going to start now? You think I should stop ordering you about? Shut up.
If you're a non-viewer of Skins you've probably only heard of it via fairly judgmental "news" "stories" about so-called Skins parties. This is Daily Mail shorthand for young people's houseparties, which used to happen before Skins was even thought of, as far as I'm aware - I speak with the experience of a woman who's had her fair share of Lambrini at said parties.
But Skins is so much more than a drama series about stupid teenagers getting off their faces - it's the best drama that British TV has seen in the last few years. It's funny too, and clever, and harrowing. And I intend to bring this to your attention with a clever list of 'top ten Skins moments so far'.
If you intend to catch up with the first three series, be warned: MULTIPLE SPOILER ALERT. But if you don't, consider this a crib-sheet / useful catch-up tool.
My top ten Skins moments so far, in chronological order so you don't get too confused, are:
Skins generation 1, looking like they could do with a nap.
Series 1, episode 5
Tony's selfish maniplation of his friends, and particularly his girlfriend Michelle, is horrible to watch throughout the first series (I mean that in a good way). The most heartwrenching moment has got to be the way he very publicly dumps Michelle for posh bird Abigail. Skins does humiliation very well.
Towards the end of its first series, Skins takes a gamble by writing a whole episode based on a minor character who hasn't said a single word so far, Tony's little sister Effy. Something has to make Tony realise what an arse he's been, and this only happens when his sister is drugged and kidnapped by a posh thug. The situation is all of Tony's making, and the scene where he begs for her safety is both sickening and beyond-the-edge-of-your-seat dramatic. Poor horrible Tony.
Cheer up, love.
Series 1, episode 9
Probably the best end-of-series final scene of all time. Tony has decided he loves Michelle, he phones to tell her, and gets hit by a bus. Then, while Effy screams her little heart out and Tony lies bleeding in the road, the entire cast performs 'Wild World' by Cat Stevens. Are you still wondering why I love this show?
Series 2, episode 2
Osama The Musical. Maxxie and his stalker, Sketch, perform in the hilariously ill-advised 9/11 school musical (sing along: "then came the day, Osama blew us away..."). All Sketch wants is a lead role in the play opposite Maxxie, who is gay, so that she can kiss him and make him fall in love with her by "magic". So she makes false allegations against her drama teacher to get him sacked, then ties up her disabled mother, poisons Michelle and takes over her starring role, only to be left rejected and bereft in front of a baffled audience. We've all been there.
Series 2, episode 3
Sid's dad (Peter Capaldi) has died unexpectedly and Sid has spent the day wandering about in a silent daze. The scene where Sid tells his best friend Tony is beautiful: in a crowded club, they face each other - Sid with a look of complete bewilderment - words are said (we don't know what), they hug and Sid finally cries for the loss of his dad.
You know things are going badly when Sid has forgotten to put his hat on.
Series 2, episode 9
Chris's death. This is a series that's supposed to be for youngsters, for Christ's sake - you can't have a brilliant main character just DIE! And we thought he was getting better. Sob. The brief scene where Cassie rolls him over on the bed gave me nightmares.Series 2, episode 10
Jal's speech at Chris's funeral. After an episode full of coffin-related comedy moments, things finally get serious and Jal, annoyed that the funeral is being conducted by people who didn't know Chris, makes a speech of her own over the vicar's burblings. It's sweet and heartfelt, and we love her for it - and so does Chris's dad, despite himself.
Generation 2, who look like they've at least had a wash.
Almost an entirely new cast for series 3, and in episode 7 we get to know JJ, who has a degree of autism and a list of medications as long as your arm - he just wants to be normal. His various social disadvantages are a constant worry to his mum (played brilliantly by Juliet Cowan), who tries her best. After Emily helps him to face his fears, they spend the night together, and I love the scene where the two of them come down to breakfast in the morning. The look on JJ's mum's face is at first shocked, then worried that he might not need her any more, then finally accepting and relieved.
Series 3, episode 9
At the school dance, twins Katie and Emily have a massive punch-up, Emily and Naomi finally declare their love to each other in front of the whole school, and Pandora and Thomas have a lovely "let's start again" moment, while 'It's My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry' by Glasvegas plays in the background, making the whole thing seem like a proper Hollywood ending on a budget.
Series 3, episode 10
Cook is undoubtedly the most interesting character in Skins series 3, and at the end of the series we get to meet his estranged deadbeat dad. Cook needs a father figure - before now he's had Freddie to look up to, but now he's putting all his faith in Daddy, played by Matt King. After he loses his dad's boat in a stupid bet, he finds himself on that boat, with his dad trying to escape and refusing to take Cook with him. This is the first and only time we see the formerly invincible Cook desperate and crying, heartbroken with the boat's key in his hand, begging his father not to abandon him again while that same man threatens and insults him. The dialogue and acting in this scene are absolutely 100% perfect.
If you're in the UK and don't mind a bit of violence and "language", you can watch every episode of Skins for free by clicking this link to the 4OD service. And I hear series 4 is going to be even better. SET THE VIDEO, PEOPLE - it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
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